I am bleary eyed from reading everything I can lay my hands on having to do with “What else can I do?”

I have read every expert I can find to try to help you guys out of this mess. I threw it all into a big pot and distilled out what seems to be the consensus of the best thinking out there, 10 things you can consider.

You’re saying that you need more sales and profit. The consumer needs to be prodded out of his home and into your restaurant. Here’s probably my last word on the topic, my take on what the experts are saying.

Experiment and Innovate. Seems to be No. 1 on the hit parade. Now, how can you argue with this? In the early days of McDonald’s, management kept stressing the importance of constantly looking for new ways of doing things, from french fry scoops to commercial production and food photography. At one point, I even had what was called a mistake budget.

Try things, make mistakes, just don’t make the same one twice. And, perhaps even more importantly, don’t make mistakes just to look like you’re innovating, like messing with the branding or adding products you have no business selling. That isn’t innovation. It’s just poorly thought-out action.

I was telling old war stories with some quick-service buddies yesterday. One guy who worked for a large pizza company told about how one of their delivery guys thought he could save money by not taking his free pizza dinner on the company. Customers were calling and complaining that their pizza was missing a slice. Yep, he was taking a slice and pushing the pie together to look like it was all there. That is not innovation.

Innovation is also detail-oriented. The Arizona Republic ran a picture of Jamie McMurray celebrating his victory at the Pepsi 400 clearly drinking a bottle of Coca-Cola. This is also not innovation.

Go after Kids. Ray Kroc said that if you had $1 to spend on marketing, spend it on kids. Why? Because they can’t get to your restaurant by themselves and they eat a lot. Mom and/or Dad has to bring them. At least have a kid’s menu with something special, and make it a value meal. Mom will appreciate that. Don’t forget the placemat with the puzzles and the crayons. And, for heaven’s sake, get the kid’s food out right away. A full mouth trumps a full tantrum.

Teens and Young Adults. Invite them in. In the early days, we were really scared of teens at McDonald’s. There were horror stories of transmissions being changed in our parking lots and counter people feeding their friends for free. Plus, they had no money.

It’s obviously very different today. They have to take their Mercedes to the dealer to be worked on, and they have more money than you do.

Discounting. I have said don’t touch the prices if you can at all avoid it. But, by looking at your product mix, you might be able to affect your sales in the short term with the right discounting strategy. Value meals are an obvious example. So is Buy One-Get One. But, be real careful you don’t set a new, lower price for the item by discounting it. Let’s face it, even the wealthy don’t want to pay retail.

Luxury Still Exists. Luxury based on value, that is. You know, what you get for what you pay. Folks don’t want to sacrifice quality. Don’t mess with the quality of your food, and don’t be afraid to have that more upscale item if it portrays quality. It will probably rub off on the rest of your menu.

Family Friendly. Unless you are a white tablecloth that serves La Reve by the glass, you need to be nice to families who come to your restaurant. Clean up spills, have a place for great-grandma’s walker, extra napkins, changing areas, and all that stuff. Families are big checks and small headaches.

Uniqueness. Make yourself different from your competitors. If no one is sampling, you do it—works for the grocery business. Décor, plants, crew uniforms, the daily newspaper, Wi-Fi, and free refills are all unique under the right circumstances.

Local. We know a young couple who took over a nondescript restaurant, opened their arms to the town, and are successful as can be. They put in a small sand volleyball area and a horseshoe pit. Families are all over the place spending money. And the couple are always there because they enjoy it and it shows. Now, you can’t do that in downtown Davenport, but you can open yourself to the community and become Mr. Restaurant.

Ethnic. You don’t have to sell ethnic food to attract ethnic business. It can be as simple as having certain condiments available for certain tastes. Sliced peppers, vinegar, a hot sauce, or brown mustard can make you ethnic-friendly. Don’t change your menu. You do what you do best. If your forte is hamburgers, let someone else do caribou on a stick. But ask your ethnic friends what you can do to make yourself more inviting.

Sizes. I know a large chain that now has more than 50 items on the menu. That counts sizes and meals and variations, but still. Look at your product mix and determine which items are low-sales and low profit, and, unless there is a reason only a mother could understand, get rid of them. Keep the items and sizes that are sellable. Also, if you see a lot of food in the can and it’s yours, evaluate the quantity of food you are serving. Maybe too much?

Well, that’s what the experts say.

Next month, we will move on to another topic. Maybe something like, “What do I do now? My restaurant is full of people, they are all waving money, I gave each of my crew a car, and they want me to run for mayor. All I want to do is take my much deserved trip to Wally World and talk to the Moose. OK, Bergold, this is all your fault.”

A Peaceful Life and Happy Trails.