Early in my career, I was working as the director of food safety and sustainability for a celebrity chef with a growing empire of restaurants and retail products. I had a friend who worked a floor below me, also within the same restaurant company, who would text me at least once a week saying, “Can you come press send?” I’d head downstairs and find her staring at her screen, debating whether to send an email she’d drafted (and re-drafted). This usually happened after she received a challenging message, unsure if she was reading the tone correctly or if her response might come off too strong and escalate things. She needed a second set of eyes, and an objective read on the situation.
In those moments, I’d review her email, make a few edits and hit send on her behalf. It became a routine that served two purposes: it gave us a sense of shared responsibility and we each acted as each other’s “personal editor” (since the “press send” request went both ways).
Because we were out of the day-to-day operations, we had the luxury of time to read, review, and reflect on our words. But in today’s fast-paced, slim-margin world of daily restaurant operations, if someone is wasting time on using too many words, communicating ineffectively, or causing conflict, that’s time and energy you—and others—don’t have to spare.
Fortunately, there are tools you can use to self-edit when needed and one of the best techniques I’ve come across is the BIFF Response method.
The BIFF Method
The BIFF Response method—a technique coined by Bill Eddy—stands for Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm, and is a powerful tool for responding to challenging communications while keeping things calm and clear.
Whether you’re dealing with a difficult guest, a miscommunication with a coworker, or a tense situation with management, BIFF provides a framework to keep things professional and focused.
- Brief: Keep your message short and to the point. In the restaurant world, time is limited, and lengthy responses or back-and-forth exchanges can escalate frustration. A concise message signals that you’re addressing the issue efficiently.
- Informative: Stick to the facts. Focus on correcting inaccuracies without engaging in blame or personal attacks. This is key in fast-paced environments where clarity is essential to avoid further confusion.
- Friendly: Even when you’re upset, maintain a neutral or friendly tone. Avoid sarcasm or insults. A calm, respectful tone can go a long way in de-escalating tension whether with a guest or a teammate.
- Firm: Be clear about your position. Instead of saying, “I hope you agree …” say, “That’s all I have to say on this issue.” Be confident in your stance without inviting further debate.
Example of BIFF Response
Before BIFF: “If you had read the email I sent yesterday, you would know Johnny’s Rate of Pay form was already submitted. I don’t appreciate you asking Jane in HR about this when you know this falls squarely within my scope of responsibilities.”
After BIFF: “Johnny’s ROP was submitted yesterday at noon. Submitting the Rate of Pay forms is my responsibility. If you have questions about any forms, please email me directly. I’m always available over email.”
Notice how the BIFF version is more direct, neutral, and solution-focused. It removes blame and clearly states expectations without escalating the issue.
Tips on How to Use BIFF at Work
- Pause before responding: When emotions are running high—whether you’re frustrated with a teammate or a guest—take a moment to collect your thoughts before reacting. In the restaurant, a quick “escape” like stepping into the walk-in cooler for 30 seconds can help you reset.
- Practice with small interactions: Start applying BIFF to low-stakes situations, like responding to an off-hand comment from a coworker or handling a guest request. As you develop the habit, you’ll be more comfortable using it in higher-stress moments.
- Get a second opinion: If you’re unsure about how your message might be received, ask a trusted teammate for feedback. A fellow cook, a server, or a bartender can help you ensure your message is clear and non-confrontational.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help: If you’re having trouble crafting a BIFF response, reach out! BIFF responses are my superpower! Email me with “Help with BIFF Response” in the subject line and I happily will respond.
In the fast-paced, often stressful environment of a restaurant, communication tools like BIFF can transform how you handle conflict. When practiced individually, BIFF helps you remain calm and professional in high-pressure situations. And when your entire team adopts this approach, it can create a culture of clarity, respect and collaboration.
Restaurant managers often feel the weight of giving tough feedback, especially when it seems “mean.” However, constructive feedback is not about being harsh; it’s about being clear and constructive. Employees want to improve and feedback that helps them grow will be well-received, especially if it is delivered with sincerity and respect.
Elizabeth Meltz is the founder of EM PATH, a company that provides consulting services focused on small to medium-sized restaurant + hospitality organizations. Our mission is to empower founders, leaders and teams to overcome internal conflicts, enhance communications and cultivate a positive workplace culture.
